I got a haircut with Heather!

Every Saturday, Mommy and I go searching for train track pieces… I’m building tracks in every room of the house!

Sleepyhead…

I’ve got sand in my pants!

I make Playdoh shapes with cookie cutters.

I like to line up my miniature cars and planes.

We went on a field trip to Seymour Discovery Center!

Branson and I went on a bike ride to Nisene Marks State Park.

Daddy and I experiment with ice cream… this flavor is Spiderman!

I made contact!

Frederick and Jade street parks are my favorites.

Things I say that make mommy laugh:

“Mom! You’re not listening. I want a tutu. I mean a tattoo.”

Mom: “Who taught you how to somersault, Rudy?”
Me: “My don’t know. Some fat-ass learned me that.”

“Mom, why are your boobs so small?”

“You didn’t know girls could fly without no boys or pirates??!!” (while watching PowerPuff Girls).

“Wanna play with me?” (tugging at mommy’s hand).

Here’s a list of some songs we sing at school:

• 5 Little Ducks
• 5 Green and Speckled Frogs
• Mr. Sun
• Slippery Fish
• Skinamarink

Here are the lyrics to our hand washing song (sung to the tune of Frere Jacques):

“Tops and bottoms, tops and bottoms,
In between, in between,
Rub them all together, rub them all together,
Now they’re clean, now they’re clean.”

Daddy took me for a 3-year check-up at the doctors:

• Height: 3’2.5” (67%)
• Weight: 35lb 9.6oz (81%)

At school, we’re learning about the land down under: Australia! We’re learning about kangaroos and insects like the Giant Burrowing Cockroach. We’re exploring The Great Barrier Reef, the biggest coral reef in the world with 1,500 species of fish!

My bathtub is full of sharks and fish to show mommy what I learn at school:

And our fridge is covered with my art:

On my birthday, Mommy asked: “How did I get so lucky to have such a nice boy like you?”
I told her “The reindeers brought me.”

My birthday party was a hit… I was so happy that so many of my friends from Little Acorns could join! It was great to see Freya, Branson, Logan, Noah, Clara, Daisy, Devon, Ben, Owen, Davis, Harlan…  I loved it when they sang Happy Birthday and bounced me on the parachute. The zip line was really cool too!

Grandma came to visit for my birthday party. But when she opened her suitcase, 3 dinosaurs jumped out! Scared the heck out of me! She spoiled me with presents: a bell for my bike, a game called Uno, a coast guard helicopter, and letter and number magnets for the fridge. We went to the Boys & Girls club and got glitter tattoos.

Now if only she’d buy me the tractor I want.

Mommy tried to teach me that presents aren’t necessary for birthdays, but I got loads of gifts anyway: Disney cars, Cooties, art supplies, bubbles, stickers, T-ball, clothes, books, spaceship magnets…

The weather was spectacular during grandma’s visit. We played in the catamarans near Crow’s Nest and practiced our volleyball skills.

We took Maggie the dog to the beach and roasted sausages and marshmallows.

Miss Jessica says I don’t need to wear my pull-ups anymore, so now I wear big-boy underwear and get jelly bean treats for going to the potty.

I’m becoming quite an athlete. Daddy and I play karate with balloons, and I scream “Hi-yah!” Mommy had me assessed by a swim instructor and was so proud to discover that I’m a Guppy, not a clingy barnacle. I have many skills… I hold my breath under water, I float like a starfish, and I jump into deep water.

There was a parade downtown and we had such fun watching the Marching band and jumping in the castle.

Branson came over to my house for a barbeque. I happily shared my toys because he’s a great friend.

At Freya’s birthday party, we fed chickens, did art projects, pulled carrots out of the garden, and ate cupcakes with purple icing and toy animals on top.

Freya and some of her friends will be joining Little Acorns this summer. I’ll be graduating into Preschool soon. I hope it’s as much fun as Toddler class has been. Here’s what we’ve done at school lately:

– talked about the Earth and learned weather words
– read about snakes, chameleons, crocodiles, turtles, and frogs
– filled our garden beds with dirt and compost, and planted tomatoes and beans
– made construction paper faces to show our emotions, and sang:

If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands (smiley face)
If you’re mad and you know it, stomp your feet (red angry face)
If you’re sleepy and you know it, take a nap (yawning face)
If you’re surprised and you know it, say “oh my!” (surprised face with open mouth)
If you’re scared and you know it, say “oh no!” (scared/nervous face)
If you’re sad and you know it, say “boo hoo!” (crying/sad face)

Here are my favorite “jobs” at school:

– Sorting rough and smooth rocks
– Using the buttons dressing frame
– Using the knob cylinders
– Cutting paper into small squares
– Opening and shutting jars
– Matching frogs
– Counting butterflies
– Sponging the floor

And finally, here’s a sample of my daily report card:

I caught a glimpse of the Easter Bunny’s ears, but not his body. We raced outside but just missed him as he hopped out of our backyard. What a delicious surprise to find that he’d left candy-filled eggs in the sandbox, in the garden, and in the fire-pit!

Besides candy, I got a super soft stuffed bear dressed in a chicken outfit. Sophie and I sleep with Chicken Bear every night.

At school, I’m learning math, colors, shapes, and reading. Plus other fun stuff:

• speaking Spanish (Ola! Adios!)
• stringing beads
• scooping and pouring
• setting the table
• arranging flowers
• naming animals in Africa and South America

Despite having practiced the “Slippery Fish” song for the school’s Spring Fling pot luck, I rushed the stage instead of singing.

Mommy and daddy came to Parent-Teacher conference. On my report card, Miss Jessica gave me top marks in every area: motor control, order, concentration, independence, language, problem solving, and socialization. Mommy said, “Order!? You must be describing someone else’s kid!” Highlights:

• “Sometimes Rudy acts extra silly and we remind him to use walking feet in the classroom and to do some things with his quiet voice.”
• “Rudy is very social and has a fun personality. I love to hear him think out loud and give meaning to situation or facts that come up throughout the day.”
• “Rudy gets engaged with his work and is able to stay concentrated throughout the work period.”
• “Rudy has an extensive vocabulary and is able to effectively communicate his wants and needs. He often says funny things while experimenting with language.”

Here’s my school:

Mommy went to Sweden and brought me back the best present ever: a 3-level Parking Garage that attaches to my train track. Ever since, when mommy comes home from work, I ask her “Do you have a present for me?”

Leti and Jeff looked after me overnight at our house so mommy and daddy could go dancing all night long in the city. Micaela stayed on the boat in San Francisco so mommy and daddy could have another party night.

Watching Branson ride so speedily on my bike was all the motivation I needed to learn to ride zippidy split!

Let’s see. What are other things I like to do…

It was fun baking cookies with mommy. She put all the ingredients on the floor and I got to operate the mix master and scoop the dough with my fingers.

I like dressing up in mommy’s clothes (Daddy calls me his little cross-dresser). Don’t I look debonaire in Eliza’s fedora?

I love going to the park with Freya and her dog:

And sharing my sand toys with random pretty girls at the beach.

Daddy and I built my very own sandbox in the back yard.

I can ride all the way to my favorite restaurant, Harbor cafe. They bring loads of maple syrup and butter with my waffle. It makes my napkin stick to my fingers!

Sailing is pretty cool, too!

Mommy buys legos more for herself than for me. She spent 3 hours building this firetruck, and I smashed it in 5 minutes.

A typical day with daddy is a bike ride to the beach and a flat of strawberries. Rolling around in the hot sun and sand, I say, “This is the perfect amount of sun on my penis!”

At the end of the day, I’m wiped out!

I like it when mommy and I ride to Jelly Beanz to buy toys, and then to Discretion Brewery to drink chocolatey beer and chill on the patio.

And when we have brunch at Johnny’s harborside, and then get a “to-go” mai-tai and an ice cream sandwhich to enjoy on the beach.

Sometimes daddy takes me to the mall to ride horses.

Random funny things I say:

Mommy: “Where’s the mustard?” Rudy: “My gonna look for it with my really loud eyes!”

Mommy: “Rudy, I’m going to be home tomorrow, Saturday, and Sunday!” Rudy: “Yay! It’s Christmas time!”

I have loads of exciting things to tell you about!

Top of the list… is this load:

At least, this is the biggest news in mommy’s and daddy’s opinions. I can pee too. I actually stand on the toilet seat to get more distance between me and those little Cheerio targets floating in the water! (Good idea, uncle Jason!)

I love my new peeing skills so much that mommy calls me “creepy baby” because I chase her around the house, yelling “I’m going to pee on you. Pee pee! Now you’re all covered!”

Mommy and I stay busy during our weekends:

• Giving each other manis/pedis
• Going to the gym and the swimming pool
• Having tea parties with grape juice and wine
• Riding bikes to the beach, making mud pies, and chasing birds
• Building Lego firetrucks, and playing Fireman Sam
• Baking jello and whip cream

Daddy’s been really busy this winter: fixing boats, building fences, falling trees, planting flowers, and operating rototillers and stump grinders. I’m a good helper, especially when we’re painting in the garage.

I rode the Roaring Camp train up Bear Mountain, through the Santa Cruz mountains redwood forest. I LOVE switchbacks and trestles and steam engines!

I stayed at grandpa’s and grandma’s house for a whole week! There was a huge snowstorm and I helped shovel! I liked it there because grandpa has a real tractor! I was very good until the last day when I stared out the window crying and asking, “When are they coming to pick me up?”

Meanwhile, mommy and daddy went to the Annual Hemlock Gong Show with their friends, partying like retirees (who apparently party pretty hard!) Here’s my aunt Leti, enjoying her retirement:

Yes, it took them a long time, but my aunts and uncles did eventually come out of the closet:

Mommy missed my first day at school because she went to India and the UK without us. When she returned, she came to visit Little Acorns Montessori and was really impressed to see how I behave there! Ms. Jessica puts me to work every day doing stacking, pouring, and sorting. Then I put my jobs away in their proper spot. The teachers tell mommy that toddlers love order, but mommy doesn’t believe it. I’ve made lots of new friends. We all have lunch together and then sleep together in our cozy red nap sacks. Branson is best friend, and a much better strider than me. In the afternoon we play in the sandbox, or make art, or learn about Africa. We sing songs and study science… like where water comes from. I’m an expert on animals now. Plus I have first-hand experience that it’s okay to have a bird in your house, but not a crocodile.

In March, we went to Sayulita with Jason and Eliza. Here’s the view from our casa:

I spent every day in the water: either running into the waves or splashing in the pool. I learned to kick, kick, KICK, paddle, and float!

Eliza kept me busy… teaching me how to speak spanish, and helping me learn the botanical names of the mexican flowers!  She also taught me to overcome my fear of giant donuts : -) Jason brought water guns in his suitcase for me, so I did a good job spraying mommy and Eliza to keep them cool.

Now that I’m back at home, I practice my swimming skills in the tub every night.

Here are some of the funny things I do:

• Take turns giving open mouth, morning kisses to mommy and daddy, and say “I’m in love with you! Never gonna let you go!”
• Shake like Elvis and ask, “What’s happening!?”
• Call mommy Lois and daddy Peter (too much Family Guy!)
• Wake up mommy with my hammer and wrench… it’s funny to see her wake up surrounded by toys because I’ve been playing straight through my nap time.

Here are some of the funny things I say:

• “Hi birds. I can’t play with you because I don’t have any wings.”
• “Daddy, my butterfly is tied to a rock.”
• “Why didn’t you get a fire truck?” (when looking at mommy’s flower arm-band tattoo)
• “What the fu*k? This car’s in the way!” (when my hotwheels are in a traffic jam)
• “The cars are going to Castaways!” (the bar where daddy goes drinking)
• “Quiet. I’m trying to build something here!” (from my room, when mommy’s and daddy’s chatter breaks my concentration)
• “This is my favorite… because of my age.” (when eating sugar off mommy’s coffee spoon)
• While walking from room to room, “Dinosaurs wanna come!”
• “Where do scratches come from?”
• When mommy put on her new dress, “I LOVE that dress. It looks like new boobs!”

Grandma and Grandpa are visiting, and it’s been loads of fun waiting for the Christmas guy to come.

Grandpa is really good at playing. He builds the toughest Lego firetruck! He climbs into my ambulance and turns his hearing aid down when I scream, “Wee oooh, wee oooh!”

Grandpa is really energetic too… we hunt for alligators and ride horsie. When my horse breaks into a sweat, I let him sleep a little. Boy he snores!

Snacktime is better with Grandma than with Mommy… I get fun food that I’ve never eaten before, like Ichiban noodles and butterscotch pudding. I made Christmas cookies with my very own rolling pin… my favorite shapes were the airplane and the letter R.

Grandma reads my advent calendar to me every day. The other night when we were all playing in our backyard around the firepit, we saw a bright light and debated whether it was a UFO or the star of Bethlehem.

On Christmas Eve, we went to the beach for a bonfire. They had whiskey and chips while I built roads in the sand with my machines. Every once in a while, I’d run up the lifeguard tower so Daddy would chase me. When he caught me, he rolled me all the way back to the firepit… I had so much sand in me that I had to shower outside before coming into the house.

Before bedtime, we put carrots on the roof for the reindeers, and sugar cookies out for Santa Claus, along with a note describing how sweet and funny I’ve been all year.

Oh! It was finally Christmas morning! I only made it half way through my presents because I had to play with each one before opening the next.

Thank you:

– Grandma and Maggie, for the Thomas the Train drawing book!
– Judy, Jesse, and Sydney for the Telephone truck! (I took it to the beach for the day!)
– Grandma for Mater and Lightning McQueen and ten of their car friends! (They join me in my bubble baths!)
– Grandpa for the wooden digger, and my favorite books: “Trucks” and “Goodnight, Goodnight, Construction Site”!
– Mommy and Daddy for the kazoo, whistle, and tambourine! (Next year, it’s a ukulele or bongos like everyone else in Santa Cruz!)

For Christmas afternoon, Daddy, Mommy, and I rode bikes to Capitola beach. 75*F… perfect for mud pies and Champagne!

Ahoy, matey! We’ve moved the sailboat to San Francisco. Nothing like jammies when you’re crewing!

I’m really enjoying my new stomping grounds! We walk from AT&T park along the Embarcadero. I love the Bay Bridge under a full moon, the strobe lights of the Homouroboros, and playing near Cupid’s span.

After we have dinner, we get a bike tow back to the boat ‘cuz two miles to Pier 39 is pretty far when you’re two. When we get home, I bathe in my baby tub with a flashlight! Not a lot of wiggle room in here anymore.

The next day we go for pizza in South Beach, and we visit Fire Station #35 because they have a fire boat and a shiny brass bell!

When we get home on Sunday nights, I help Daddy in the yard and take out the garbage.

I spent Halloween at Grandma’s house with Maggie. Daddy and I dressed up and ate lots of ice cream and candy.

I didn’t want to leave Maggie at Grandma’s house… I told her, “My taking Maggie my baby dog on the plane.” But she wouldn’t let me.

I’m always happy to come home though… I love kickin’ it around the house. Sometimes I like to be a flower child, making potpourri for Mommy.

Sometimes I like to work in the backyard, categorizing my toys and lining them up precisely.

Other times I like to help Daddy, like when the tractor came to grate the property, or when we cut a gigantic tree down in the front yard. Daddy cut a nick into the trunk and then wrapped chains around it, pulling it out with our truck! What a thunderous crash it made!

The landscaping has been exhausting, so Daddy and I need to sleep in sometimes!

I’ll tell you the best way to sleep: surrounded by stuffed animals, trains, books, and face down in the middle of a pile of cars. Or with a frog on your head. Actually, I’m regressing a bit. I often hollar “My want to sleep in the crib!” And as for potty training… well, I prefer to have my butt up in the air getting sprinkled with baby powder.

Some cute things I say and do:

“My hair is closed” (while Mommy is trying to brush my mange).

“Is the airplane gonna poop on us?” when I see aircraft above us.

“No way!” when Daddy tries to convince me to put my face under water in the bathtub by saying, “But your penis will be 20% larger under water!”

“Boom! Boom! Boom!” while pumping one arm with a clenched fist.

“My didn’t done it!” when struggling with pronouns and double-negatives.

“Right on!” when delighting in the joy of eating Jello in jammies!

“You’re my big Mommy!” when Mommy calls me her big boy.

“They’re too crunchy for my teeth.” when eating nuts.

“My going to Canada!” when Mommy asks which planet my rocket ship is landing on.

“Daddy won’t like you if you floss your teeth. Daddy wants you to pick up dirt.” when Mommy is getting dressed up.

“My bum is not here. It’s in Palm Springs!” when Mommy tries to bathe me.

“Hoppergrasses!” when we find grasshoppers in the yard.

In August, the grandmas came to look after me while mommy and daddy went on vacation. I wish I could have gone with them. I always have a great time in the disco trailer, leaping onto the bean bags.

I stayed home with the grandmas for 10 days, and they did a great job! They took me and Maggie to the beach and I played volley ball until the fog rolled in.

We went to the flea market too and I got a million cars and a very fancy lego firetruck. I deliberately break the legos to watch mom patiently piece it back together.

The grandmas made me cookies and nice dinners, like ribs and corn on the cob, while I kept busy building my construction sites.

On weekends, when Uncle Jason comes over, we go to Harbor café. They have too many greyhounds and I eat too much jam.

I’m getting to be a bit of a terror, and sometimes daddy calls me a “terd.” I threw a truck at mommy’s face and gave her a tooth concussion. She called the dentist to see if her tooth was going to go black, and he said time will tell. After I throw things, I say, “Where did it goed? You okay, mommy?” I bite her lip and scratch her nose, so she looks pretty rough some days.

I met a paramedic and he gave me a first aid kit and let me sit in his ambulance! I like playing the Rescue game with mommy. I jam my legs between the bed and the wall and she tugs me out and carries me screaming “Nee new nee new!” Mommy says they serve ice cream at the hospital. I want to be an ambulance driver.

After the grandmas left, I went through a rough stage there where I had trouble sleeping in my big boy bed. I’d call out “Rub my back, mommy. Mom? MOMMY! Muuuuuuuumm.” Every three hours. She’s easier to trick than dad. She’ll stumble around half-asleep, fetching me water or adjusting my blanket. Not dad. I even fibbed once saying I’d poo’d… I was trying so hard get him to come into my bedroom.

My favorite book these days is “Little Pookie” because I like to hide like Pookie does… behind a door or towel, under a rug or in a box. My favorite song is “The ants go marching.” Mommy sings lots of songs but changes the words to whatever theme I dictate. For example, she sings about airplanes or police cars to the tune of “I’m a little teapot.”

Lisa came over to look after me, and she brought me a new friend, Odin.

My friend Otis is tons of fun, too!

I know what my penis is for now. It’s for peeing like Otis the dog. I like to stand outside and pee on the trees too, and then help daddy rake the leaves.

We have a lime-stealing squirrel in the back yard, and mommy and I holler “Get lost, squirrel. Get your own lime tree!”

A sunflower sprung up so I watered it every morning.

I am really helpful around the house. I help mommy clean the bathroom… I really roll up my jammie sleeves and scrub inside the toilet. I shoot windex all over the leather couches. And I wash the car for dad.

And I pull all the booms out of the closet to sweep. I sit on the counter and make the espresso for daddy. That’s my favorite house-hold job because mommy makes me my own frothy warm milk and we all have coffee in bed.

I’ll be graduating from the Toddler Care Center soon, because I’m almost 3 and I can already count (1,2,5, 20). The Little Acorns Montessori school is being built just a few blocks from our house! Mommy and I ride by on the way to the gym, and we stop to watch them work.

Sometimes we have picnics on the beach, and daddy feeds me prosciutto and lets me put wood on our bonfire. I play with my machines and kick sand into their wine.

I met a nice boy called Jesus and he dug holes for me to jump into.

And when the sun sets and the moon is full, mommy tells me the story about the very tall ladder we can climb to reach the moon.

I’m starting to sleep in my big boy bed, face-down and curled up like a peanut. I sleep with Sophie tucked under my arm and a dozen cars under my pillow. I feel snug under the beautiful quilt Auntie Gail made for me.

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I make a game board out of my quilt, matching my toys with the patches. Each square is a parking spot for my frog, horse, rooster, race car, fire truck, police car, football, school bus, owl…

On Saturday mornings, I pull mommy out of bed and say, “Wanna watch cartoons!” Mommy bakes muffins while I laugh at Curious George and mimick his monkey talk. Then I sit on the kitchen counter and push the buttons on the espresso machine to make coffee for Daddy. Then we all get back into bed with Daddy and have breakfast while watching monster truck videos.

Daddy gives me my morning tickles and love bites, uses me for baby bench presses, and then turns on some music so I can dance with my shadow.

Weekends, I feel like Yoko Ono or Marilyn Monroe, all that time in bed.

Then Mommy tows me downtown with her bike. We have lunch at Café Mare: salmon pasta and then nutella toast. Yummy combination!

In the evenings, Mommy lets me take toys into the bathtub. I get really excited when the water’s running, racing between the bathroom and my bedroom, grabbing all my Hot Wheels and tossing them into the water. Sometimes I bathe with my farm animals or my airplanes. One time Daddy surprised us with a frog he found in the yard!

We set the little fella free right after my bath. I think he still lives under the orange tree.

At bed time, I match my pajamas to my favorite stories. For example, when we read “Cars and Trucks and Things that Go” or “Roadwork!” I wear construction PJs. You get the idea. I also have cowboy, dinosaur, pirate, and train PJs.

Sometimes we sleep on the boat on weekends, and I sprawl out between Mommy and Daddy in their bed so neither of them can sleep. Chappy and Sadie helped me catch the starfish that live in our slip!

I’m getting pretty good at entertaining myself. I like to hide my cars in all kinds of places: under the oven, in the garbage, in Mr. Potato Head.

But it’s more fun when friends come to visit. Shae puts lip-gloss on me.

Eliza and I disco-dance in the trailer Daddy built.

I’m over 30lbs now. Daddy says he can see the inches every morning. And my hair is so long that Martha puts it in a pigtail. My vocabulary has grown, too. I understand everything except colors and time. Everything is green and it’s always “4 minutes.” I use adjectives now: “It’s HUGE!” and “Cool car, man!”

The best way to keep Mommy’s and Daddy’s attention is to constantly ask “Why”?

My manners are superb. I say “Thank you!” and wave enthusiastically at cars when they stop at cross-walks.

Mommy’s favorite thing I say these days is “I wanna hold you!”

In May we went to Sayulita, Mexico with Jason and Eliza. We swam in the ocean, stumbled along stone streets, ate fish tacos, and chased iguanas. The kids on the beach were so friendly! They brought me watermelon, a bobble-head horse, a pink doggie, and a “Rudy” bracelet!

For Grandma’s and Grandpa’s 50^th wedding anniversary, we all visited Uncle Terry and Auntie Alice in New Jersey. My cousins Alexa and Tami taught me how to say “Little fart.” They let me play with their piano, Little Ponies, doll house, and baby goldfish. Their house is so beautiful because there are pictures of fish and bears, and a fly-tying room filled with colorful flies. Uncle Terry wanted to cut a curl of my hair for a fly, but Daddy wants my hair long and shaggy like the other Santa Cruz boys.

The girls let me ride their razor and they pulled me in their wagon. I had such fun chasing bubbles and hopping with the backyard bunny. Then we all took a cruise from New York to Bermuda. In the splash pool, I pulled the pretty girls’ hair, I slapped the boys and made them cry, and I went head-first down the steps instead of the slide. The ocean in Bermuda is warm and filled with speedy white crabs that are impossible to catch. Bermudian cocks are impressive, too!

Onboard the ship, I got so tired of walking the long hallway from our stateroom… so I often said “Wanna hold you!” so someone would pick me up and carry me. Daddy got tired of walking too, so he scooted instead 😉 On my birthday, we drank Veuve Clicquot at Cirque du Soleil.  I loved the Jungle Fantasy frogs, birds, and bumblebees! Daddy loved the acrobatics, and said this explained the mysterious “hot chicks on board.”

For my birthday, my grandmas got me a (green!) balance bike and Thomas the Train and his engine friends. My favorite is the Fire train that says, “Stay back! Stay calm!”

For daddy’s birthday, mommy put 46 candles in the cake… one too many! Judy made fancy jello shooters!

I’m starting to talk a LOT!

When it’s bed time: “Momma, leave the lights on. Leave the door open! Don’t close the door, mommy!”

When the afternoon sun shines onto the dining room chandelier: “It’s Rudy’s rainbows!”

When I pick up a toy: “This have a button?”

Among my favorite things… the number 5, the sound “meow,” the color green, and clothes with alligators, frogs, or helicopters. Favorite foods: gummy bunnies and banana popsicles.

Things I think are funny: cars in my sleeping sack, poo logs in the bathtub,  “The Family Guy,” and morning tickle-time with Daddy.

“AIRPLANE!” I shout it often, whether I’m onboard or on foot.

The Swedes are beautiful people, but they’re not very friendly to babies. While flying from Paris to Gothenburg, I was playing nicely on Daddy’s lap, rolling my car up and down his arms and legs. I was not screaming or pooping… just quietly entertaining myself. Each time I barely tapped the seat in front of me, the woman would huff and sigh and throw me a mean look. Dad was bracing himself, anticipating her complaint, and doing his best to keep my fingers off her chair. When I couldn’t resist unlatching her tray table, she confronted daddy. I thought he’d say swear at her, but instead he calmly explained that I’d been traveling for 20 hours and I’m just a baby. She said she had kids too and know how they’re supposed to behave. Hmpff.

The food in Sweden was amazing, but I didn’t feel very welcome in the restaurants. Apparently, babies stroll but do not dine. The sidewalks were filled with new moms, but I was a rare bird indoors! A couple actually approached our table at 8pm to declare: “that child should be sleeping!” (Daddy never lets me miss my long afternoon naps… in fact, I was well rested!) It was terribly cold, too… -18C in Stockholm. So dad and I spent our time lounging in the hotel room while mommy was at work.

We flew into Pisa, where suddenly I was on center stage. Italians LOVE babies. They rubbed my hair and pinched my cheeks, and gave me toys, candy, and biscotti. It was raining there and I had fun splashing in the puddles.

Daddy did a great job driving the Fiat, despite mommy being a useless co-pilot. She had every navigational tool needed: a GPS, mi-fi, laptop, smartphone, and a map. Yet daddy had to figure it out on his own, with me projectile vomiting sour yogurt while zipping down the freeway. We drove into the walled town of Lucca, and stayed in a beautiful hotel with the nicest inn-keeper. I slept in the bathroom in my crib, and my toys slept in the bidet. We had espresso in bed in the morning, and pizza and wine on the floor in the evening. Ohhhhhh, pizza!

There are fountains throughout Italian towns, and I drank from every one of them. Like the Butthole Surfers said….

“Some will fall in love with life
and drink it from a fountain
that is pouring like an avalanche
coming down the mountain.”

We walked and strolled, enjoying the architecture and culture.

Daddy mused that the Italian air even made my hair look artistic. Check out this perfect curl!

Driving in Florence was really nuts. After going around in circles, confused by one-way streets, we finally just parked the car and walked to the hotel, then re-traced our steps to locate the car. What a treat when we checked into our hotel. It was regal! What a view of the red tile rooftops!

Mommy and daddy shopped for 3 days straight… exhausting! Daddy was so happy to find the Energie store (who needs 6 pairs of jeans?!!) The best part of Florence was the construction activity. The city was a pretty backdrop for this busy, noisy scene. We parked the stroller, covered our ears, and I watched in amazement as the workers smoked, drank coffee, and controlled those powerful machines! I’ve been studying, and I can tell you which one’s a backhoe, front loader, crane, bulldozer, roller, or forklift.

Next we went to Siena, another medieval town with windy stone streets, tall walls, and a bell tower. It had a giant square where they have horse races, and I ran around and played in the fountain while mommy and daddy sat and watched from the Caffè. The park there was magical, and I made friends with a stone horse and two swans.

On our final night in Europe, we all played together in the park, enjoying a bottle of wine out of a shared plastic cup.

Ciao Italy! Arrivederci!

On the plane back, I had a poop problem. Mommy changed my yucky diaper 6 times, and my soiled pants twice… sealing them up tight and tucking them under the seat. Despite this, the Italian lady next to us let me sit on her lap, and told me a story for every charm on her bracelet.

Back in Santa Cruz, Daddy’s been busy working on the house and the boats. He painted the outside of the house, and Darryl built wooden plant potters beneath our bedroom windows. I encourage dad’s work, often saying, “Nicccccce, Daddy!” Next, daddy needs to fence in the yard, as I ride BIG WHEELS now (thanks Uncle Jason)!

Daddy has the sailboat all waxed and polished, and he re-finished the teak. On Sunday Fundays, we drink champagne with friends and row around the harbor in the dinghy. I wear a life vest and a tether because I don’t want to fall in. It was no surprise that my car sunk when I threw it overboard, but why didn’t my float plane float? When I know I’m funny, I say, “Rudy’s fun-nie!”